parenting · personal

What does a Parent look like?

I don’t have children of my own. But I dream of having one of my own. Two at most. A girl and a boy. I even picked out their names. If you want to see pictures of me, you could click the link to my Instagram. You will see that I look like a nice girl. No tattoos, piercings, or any crazy dyed hair color. Nope. All natural good girl look. You might approve and say “She looks like an eligible parent. Definitely wifey material”. Now let’s say I have tattoos, piercings, and different colored dyed hair. Would you determine if I make a good parent or not? You can’t tell because again, I don’t have children of my own. But I do have interaction with kids in my family. I also take care of my adult autistic brother who acts like a kid. Does that count?

This question was brought up by one of my acquaintances from college. Her name is Ashley. That’s her middle name, but spelled and pronounced differently. Due to private issues, I have to keep her in the dark. Anyway, I met Ashley back in Fall 2011. I was taking a typing computer class when she sat at the left end near me and a high school friend of mine. I love her personality. She’s original and sassy. But Ashley has had boy problems. Everywhere she goes, it’s always boy problem here and there. At the time, she and her first boyfriend were kinda going rocky. I forgot when they broke up. I’m sure it was a few months after we took the class. Since then, I haven’t seen nor spoken to her for a few years during the time. I did hear she didn’t attend school anymore and has worked as a cashier. In 2015, she added me on Facebook after I deleted her. Nothing personal. I just figured she and I aren’t close, so I removed her. After seeing her for the last year, I decide to add her back and figure out what’s she been up to. To my shock, she was 8 months pregnant and was due in the following month.

In addition, she dyed her hair “Red” and got herself a couple of tattoos. That didn’t question me whether she’s going to be a good mother or not. Appearance is just an impression. But if you dig deeper into the personality, you will find out if that person is good or not. To me, she is a good mother. I’ve seen posts and photos of her cute adorable son. Working and providing for what’s best for him is pretty awesome. She stays committed to her son. I don’t see how the color of her hair and a couple of stickers on her body is going to determine her as an individual of a mother. Too many people worry about their appearances when it comes to parenthood. I think it really depends on the individual themselves. No matter if you’re 24 or 40, if you can provide a happy and healthy environment for your child, then you’re doing a fantastic job as a parent. Worry about what you can do for your child than some total jerk telling you how to look as a parent.

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