The Secret to a Good Kiss

I’ve spent 4 years thinking what a horrible kisser I am. My first kiss was when I was 19 years old in college. I was “talking” with this douche face ex of mine. At the time, I never been done anything intimate with a guy. The douche was completely obsessed that I would be kissed right away. Let alone with losing my v-card. Anyone who acts like that is only interested in the sex. Right off the bat, I knew the guy was the worst person on the planet. But being the idiot I am, I end up “talking” to him. Despite the whole “I’m not ready for a relationship”, he still wind up with a kiss or two. Honestly, I hate it. It’s not sloppy, however I didn’t like it. But I didn’t know that. I genuinely thought I was a bad kisser.

My 2nd kiss then occurred two years later. With the 2nd ex, I like him but not enough to be a potential boyfriend. Our relationship was straight out complicated more than anything. One thing lead to another. I spent a few months, wondering what went wrong. The answer was pretty obvious. My first love wasn’t the one for me. Even though I knew he wasn’t the one, my heart still got shattered. The kiss I gave him was embarrassing. My lips smacked on his cheek while nervously sweating my ass off. Till this day, I still think it’s embarrassing. At age 21, I still think I’m a horrible kisser.

I laid off kissing the next guy since then. After the first two, I decide I’m probably a horrible kisser. Even though that’s probably not true. The perfect kiss would have to be described as something magical and passionate between two people. I don’t have that with my exes. I’ve had three more guys that want to kiss me. But I dismiss them all, acknowledging that I am a terrible kisser. I’ve watched a lot of rom com tv series and movies, trying to see how a kiss should be initiate. It seems a fail to me since I wouldn’t budge kissing another guy.

Not until the boyfriend came into the picture. After the boyfriend memorized and swept me off my feet, I finally achieved the perfect kiss. It didn’t require practice. All I did was have confidence and be in love. The kiss occurred on a Wednesday afternoon. My boyfriend and I had a spot at school, where we would spent a couple hours talking every Wednesday last semester. We already told each other’s feelings the day before. The next day, we were going to finish off talking about those feelings. But because of my anxiety, I tried to dodge those feelings. My boyfriend knew what he want from me. He just had to get me to tell him. “Can I kiss you?” 

Boy, I haven’t heard that question since never. No guy has never asked me that. I said yes, but it took me ten minutes to relax. Because this is coming from a person who thinks they’re a bad kisser for 4 years. I relaxed, sat up straight, and closed my eyes. His hand was placed on mine, indicating he’s leaning forward. Next thing I know, my boyfriend’s soft lips touched mine. My stomach flustered and heart was excited. Like any girl in a rom com, I kissed him back. Then he told me I’m a good kisser.

So the secret to being a good kisser is have those feelings and passion. Rom com was right. I just need to find the right one to achieve the perfect kiss. A thousand kisses later, I’m still kissing the guy.




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25 year old Chinese American with an English Degree.

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