Get Out!

If you’re in a toxic relationship, man or woman, get out! No one deserves to be treated like any less worth of a human. I know people are going to say, “But it’s hard to get out because the person could be a psycho.” Unfortunately, you have to think about yourself in the relationship rather than sticking around the sake of the person. I’ve been in a toxic relationship before. Although my ex wasn’t a psycho, I still need to find a way to get out. Luckily, the end of fall semester rolled around and I was free. The ex (I’ve mentioned him as douche face) put me in a toxic position. We weren’t really together, but I was involved with him in some complicated thing. Anyway, that 1st ex was the most terrible person I ever met.

Five years ago, I met the guy in my math class. He did find me attractive, but I knew he wasn’t the one I want to be with. Douche face is a complete jerk. He doesn’t care nor respects people. I had many anxiety about the relationship. The one thing that puts me in an agony place was his sexual drive. At the time, I was a virgin. Nineteen years old. Just a year out of high school. My view on sex is very serious. I believe sex should be committed when you’re in a loving relationship. It doesn’t have to be after marriage. As long as you both know where your relationship is going, then it shouldn’t be a problem. Plus it’s better than a one night stand.

Not according to douche face. Douche face wanted it now and fast. When I told him, I was a virgin; He immediately suggested that I lose it. What better way to lose it is with him since he hasn’t had sex for a month. In my guts, I knew he’s a bad idea. I kept my virginity all of high school and most of college to save for the right person. For someone like douche face, he doesn’t deserve my virginity at all. The word “no” either pissed him off or think it’s a challenge. I believe it must have pissed him off. I don’t know what drove him to insanity, but he wouldn’t stop with the word “sex”.

I got constant put downs of being virgin. His hands would be placed in areas that did not get consent. Most of all, emotional and sexual abuse didn’t cross my mind. The good news is I did not get raped. I am grateful that did not happen to me. But I am a survivor for abusive relationship. I don’t really talk about my story that often unless someone is going through it. Or I just talk about it if someone gets to know me. I let in people with my stories. If you’re in an abusive relationship, I don’t care how many chances you give them. You need to stop. Any person abusing you won’t change for the better. No one deserves to be treated like a dog. Get out when you have the chance. It kills me to know someone is being held in a toxic relationship and they feel there’s no way out. Yes, there is. You just need to find a way.


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25 year old Chinese American with an English Degree.

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