Money and Money

Growing up, I’m not rich nor poor. My father is a full time business warehouse owner. My mother is a housewife. I guess I could say money is decent enough for daily basis. When I was younger, my mother always lecture me about marrying someone with more money. It’s a Chinese proverb where the saying is “if you grew up poor, make sure to achieve a successful career and later you won’t suffer hardships”. I kinda went along and see it as a way for her to annoy me. But now I’m older, I see money as a daily need. Of course, it is important. But it’s not a permanent key to happiness.

I see where my mother is coming. She’s my mother and doesn’t want to see me living off of welfare. However, my current situation doesn’t indicate it’s my future. My boyfriend grew up poor most of his life. His father was a single teen parent who juggled between school and work. They both moved around many times through out his childhood to be able to afford a one room apartment. Finally after 10 years, they were able to move into a decent apartment when his father graduated from University at age 35 with a bachelors degree in sociology.

Hearing that, my mother has a little disapproval of the boyfriend. She has her doubts about me being in a long term relationship with him. Plus he’s younger than me by almost 4 years. I believe she gets to have her disagreements, however, she can’t run my life. I can’t tell what the future says about my relationship with the boyfriend. It’s a long way ahead. I told this situation to my best friend from 9th grade. She sees my mother’s point of view as well. My best friend grew up in poverty. She lives with a single mother and an elderly grandmother. With her mother’s minimum wage and grandmother’s social security, they barely could afford rent.

Her dream, if it happens, is marry an older rich gentleman. She feels having money will solve all problems and not worry about paying bills. It’s a sad cold reality. I sometimes think ahead about my current relationship. Because I’m older, I’m getting closer to the age where I’m suppose to get married and produce offsprings. As for my boyfriend, he should worry about finding what he wants in career goals and such. Our age gap is a little far. By the time he reaches to my age, I’ll be 28. I have met guys close to my age and with money too. I would have been in a relationship with and introduce them to my mother.

But those guys don’t match with me. Money is all they talk of. It’s not something I want to hear when it comes to dating. So I rejected all of them. Plus the majority don’t want a relationship. I like my boyfriend for his intelligence, mindset, and honesty. What I dislike about him is his lack of understanding college life. I also would think about how we’re different from each other. I even wonder why we’re together. In the end, the answer is in front of my face. The only person that decides my future is me. Whatever decision I decide may or may not be as defected as any disagreement my mother holds. Then again, I would like to know what are goals for our relationship more. Aside from trying to be each other’s life for a certain “X” amount of years. I want to know.


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25 year old Chinese American with an English Degree.

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