Boyfriend’s Insecurity

The most amazing moment I found out today. My boyfriend just revealed his insecurities to me. It started this morning where I received a text from him. He had doubts about our relationship. This happened plenty of times to the point where it’s becoming predictable. The relationship always have to point to me, making it rocked. I got angry and want to stop reassuring him that everything’s fine. In conclusion, I told him that it’s up to him if he doesn’t trust me, then he can leave. That’s where he revealed that he cheated on me in a dream. The dream made him felt extreme guilt. I almost lost it at the words “I cheated on you“. But luckily, I read more further and was relieved.

Then I remembered what he told me 6 months ago. My boyfriend is a complicated person to be with and has trust issues. I gave my word to him that I will stick around anyway. Most people, mainly girls, would be angry if their significant other cheats on them in a dream. Honestly, I believe we can’t control what we dream of. Sometimes, the dreams are just random. Plus I also admit to having cheating dreams, too. I told him it doesn’t mean anything. I’ve done the research and it doesn’t mean we have the desire to cheat. It probably means we done something guilty related. I know he and I wouldn’t act upon it.

I fully understand his insecurities. It’s hard for him because he never had a loyal girlfriend before. My boyfriend tries his best not to be possessive with me. However, I also believe that he shouldn’t have to feel insecure. I am a very trustworthy person. I wouldn’t betray anyone’s trust. In romantic relationships, I stay fully committed to one until given reason not to. Other than that, I already proved to him that nothing should make him feel any less. There may be other guys in my life, especially my close guy friends. But my guy friends aren’t stupid enough to wreck my relationship. Most of them rather stay single for now. I used to have the same insecurities, but I got over it. If someone is in my life for at least 6 months and we have a good bond, then I can determine that the person will be in my life for quite a while. It happens with most of my friends.

I have no problems or doubts in our relationship. For him, it may take a while. I understand completely. He’s going to have to know by himself that I won’t do anything to hurt him. People can trust me very easily. The only ones that don’t, they left on their own reason whether it’s valid or not. I have no problem in holding the door open. It’s their choice to exit out if they want to. I’m not the type to sugarcoat everything and convince them otherwise. I said enough. But if they’re lucky that I feel they’re worth keeping around, I won’t find their insecurities annoying. My best friend from 9th grade went through the same with me. She didn’t have that many loyalty friends. I was the first one to be her loyal friend. It took her a while to fully trust me.

Now I’m going through it again with my boyfriend. I’ll commit to it and keep reassuring even if I get angry. I’m ready for the ride.


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25 year old Chinese American with an English Degree.

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