Dating Someone With Trust Issues

I’ve come across many guys with personal issues in their lives. Most of them don’t admit to their flaws. I usually quit after a few months of finding out that they’re not worth helping. I want to find someone with the same confidence as I do. However, it feels entirely impossible because some still have their past troubling them. My boyfriend has been completely honest with me. It’s really helpful with the relationship. We have our ups and downs, however, the arguments end quick and we’re back to normal programming.

I love my relationship with him. He is much better than my exes. If I have to rate how healthy our relationship is from a scale of 1 to 10, I pick between an 8 and 9. It’s somewhere around there. I’m glad to have found someone that treats me with such respect and unconditional love. It’s what I always want in a committed relationship. However, I’m faced with a challenge. While I found out about his trust issues and insecurities, I have to construct an idea of being his therapist. I’m also putting lots of prays that he won’t be an emotional abusive boyfriend.

The last relationship he had, he was an emotional abuser to his ex. Because of the long distance, it’s very hard to put such trust and confidence that your partner won’t do any harm. I have a feeling that she felt really trapped and decide to do the worst uncalled action to get him to leave. It’s devastating, but it had to be done. I personally had no desires to do such uncalled action if I was in that position. I would try to find my own exit to avoid such toxic.

Seven months in the relationship, there’s no sign of toxic. I already gave my word that I will help him out. I’m a huge sucker to help anyone out in distress. No one should ever feel that they’re alone. Even if it’s repetitive, I will always stay by their side. However, never expect me to sugarcoat advices. If one thing makes things worse is sugarcoating. I made mistakes of sugarcoating with two ex-friends of mine when they’re going through issues. By one to three years, I gave up on them because they don’t want to encourage themselves to get better. They want to continue to rely on others to give them the strength to move forward.

I don’t want to waste my time, trying to help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves. As I said, it’s not my job to make them feel secure. It’s their job. I’ve heard stories of people dating someone with trust issues. The result came into an unhealthy relationship, which lead to breaking up. There is a way to date someone with trust issues and still maintain a healthy relationship. The tip is to be there for them as a therapist and lover. Make sure they’re not taking advantage of the help and turn the relationship into controlling. The last thing I need is a jealous boyfriend banning every guy in my life from talking to me, including relatives. Other than that, wish me luck on my journey.


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25 year old Chinese American with an English Degree.

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