After ten years of personal youth growing, I found who I am as an individual. My personality consists of an emotional independency, open minded, and old soul heart. While I have found the person in me, there are many others who struggles of finding who they are. It takes years of work and improvement, but we’re all get there eventually. I’ve talked of my opinions on relationships and person growth on this blog. I’m sure most would agree with my mindset on how I deal with my life. Especially in the love department. My guy friends are the ones I should thank.
My friends are the reason of who I am today. If it weren’t for them, I’d probably still be that angry teenager. I’ve been re-reading the blogs I’ve posted about relationships. Including with discussing about my boyfriend’s trust issues and insecurity. I have a huge heart. Whoever is important to me, they are the priority. Even when I’m busy, I’ll do my best to be there for them whenever I can. I never put a guy as my priority. My old mindset used to believe that family and friends are more important than a guy. To me, relationships come and go. But friends and family are forever.
I can never replace them. However, since my boyfriend came in the picture, I finally found a place for him as a priority. I make sure that I have time for everyone. It’s quite the balance. I want to believe that I am a good person for both family/friends and boyfriend. If I’m not with the boyfriend, I’m mostly with friends or family. If I’m with my boyfriend, I try my best to give my full undivided attention without having a phone in my hand. I think it’s been going well since then. My boyfriend used to dislike my emotional independency because he sees it as a cruel way to avoid him. It isn’t. I just give too much space. Now I learn to text him once in a day to let him know I miss him and that I love him. I’m slowly learning.
I wouldn’t say I’m perfect, but I’m good enough to be a girlfriend. Intimacy wasn’t something I would touch before. Mainly because I couldn’t see myself in a long term with previous guys in my past. Plus no chemistry was involved. I thought I was being very picky, but the boyfriend proved me wrong. I was really waiting for the right one to come along. Totally worth every second. I guess I changed a little bit for the better in a romantic relationship. My old self wouldn’t do all the above. But I did all the above for the right one. I think I have accomplished my goal. Now, I have to prepare for the long run. Am I ready? As I said in my previous blogs, yes I am.