Should You Tell?

So I read an article from Odyssey Online, talking about whether the author should tell they’re trans or not. I’ll leave the article here if you’re curious to read it.

No,I Don’t Have To Tell

The article basely talks of a story of a trans woman who was brutally murdered in 2014 by a marine. In the marine’s excuse, he said he reacted in a panic. She was deceitful and a rapist. The author points out and made a very awful point how trans do have the right to not tell anyone they’re trans before they’re dating someone. It is not deceitful and the trans didn’t force sex on anyone. To not be attracted to trans is equal to transphobic.

Now there was a counterattack article, responding to the author saying you have to tell that you are trans before dating someone. The article is linked after the author finishes her statement on the bottom. It should say “Yes, You Have to Tell”.

In my personal experience, Los Angeles doesn’t have many transgender community. I never met a transgender person nor I seen one. I did hear about the term a while back when stumbling across two transgender stories that was made into a lifetime movie. I personally  don’t think it’s cool to brutally murder someone just because you “panic” once you found out they don’t have the genitals you desired. But the decision to whether the trans person should tell or not is really all up to them. They don’t have to tell right away if they’re trans. It really all depends whether they’re comfortable in telling or not. But sooner or later, their partner will find out and who knows how they’re going to react.

As far as having sex with a trans, it’s really unjustified to tell if it is rape or not. Personally, I wouldn’t go to bed with someone on the first date. I would give my partner a few months before jumping into the bedroom scene. That’s how my boyfriend and I got intimate. I gave him three months to prove he’s not in it for sex. Most of the offers I got in the past were 100% penis. No transgender was online. Like I said, Los Angeles LGBT community don’t have that many trans. But if I were to come across one, I don’t know if I would to be attracted to one. Usually I could get a sense of who they are without telling me. It’s no contest. I got nothing against transgender people.

It is their life. But if I were to get involved with a trans-male, it’ll be difficult for me. I’m 100% straight. I prefer CIS male penis. In my relationship goals, I want to mate and breed with my partner. In easy English, I want my own biological children. It’s a validate reason to not be involved with a transgender. Some people want their own children. Sure, there’s adoption and/or third party. But it won’t cut out for me because I want to experience pregnancy.

I’m sorry if I seem like an asshole for not going for a trans-male. But it is my decision. I have the right to reject a trans-male if I’m not attracted to them. However, it doesn’t mean I’m transphobic. They can be friends with me if they want to. In no way, I will reject them as a human being. The trans community really put the whole society in backwards. I understand that they want to be accepted in society and don’t want to ever feel rejected. But here’s a thing. Everyone gets rejected. You, Me, and Bigfoot. I’m sure there is someone for the trans community. Maybe they can see them as the genitals they desired and no problems would occurred. It all depends on time.

So to answer the question, “Should You Tell?”, of course you should tell. But people shouldn’t demand the answer right away. In all relationships, honesty is the best policy. However, it should be given time to get comfortable before telling. If they don’t tell and you find out on your own, best to not “take care of things in your own hands”. They are still human. Let them be and figure out later.



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25 year old Chinese American with an English Degree.

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