Conservative vs Liberal Sex

All my life, I grew up in a conservative environment. Sex was a troubled topic. The schools I grew up in only talked the consequences and promote abstinence. As a young teenager, I was pretty shy from ever going in deep about sex. I only talk about my views on it ; not into details of the subject. Most of my friends are countless virgins, so I didn’t have a problem with the virginity status. It wasn’t until college that I started digging into the subject more.

Ten years ago, I would said “No” to sex and vow to wait till marriage. Because it’s what I’ve been told and sex was prohibited from the household. I always assume everyone will stay a virgin. Whoever was having sex, people would shame them. In college, I met someone who was proud of getting laid and criticize my sexless life. It was horrible and irritating to hear that I should lose my virginity before it’s too late. As if I have a time bomb on me on when should I lose it. If I weren’t so quiet, I would’ve told that person to fuck off and mind his own business. In the end, I got scared telling people about my sexless life. I thought being a virgin was a shame to society. It turns out there are people in college whom are still virgins and understood my situation.

In no way am I promoting sex. I believe people will have sex at least once in their lifetime. Whether it’s bad or good, there’s always a way. People just have their own time to commit such act. This year, I learned that in romantic relationships, there’s intimacy involved. Most guys I’ve come across want sex. They only told me that it is very important in the relationship. I denied their offers because who would try to hook up with some stranger off the internet. I used to be extra conservative to plan to wait until I was ready and close to marriage to do it.

When the guys ask me if I’m ever going to do it with them, I always say no. Because I didn’t feel comfortable and they didn’t want to develop a relationship with me. In the end, it’s all a valid reason not to start anything with them unless I fully trust them. My boyfriend then came into the picture. He told me the same thing. however, it took a while for him to fully explain what he meant by it. Before, I would display the same thoughts I had on sex. Every time he express his sexual fantasy for me, I would tell him “How disgusting” and “I wouldn’t want to touch down there. Who knows where’s it been?” That is the meanest comment I ever said out of my mouth. I almost sound awfully like my mother.

In a slight understanding, I was intimated by the thoughts. Because I’ve practice abstinence most of my life, I didn’t know what to say. At the same time, I shouldn’t been close minded and said a more openly way.

Whether you’re conservative or liberal about sex, I believe we all need to have an open mind about the subject. At the same time, we want to be smart and safe about it. We should educate the next generation a little more open about this subject. I fear the next generation are taking sex like a loose condom. That’s not how I want to educate my children about it. The world shouldn’t hide our children in the dark yet inform them that sex is serious. I want my kids to make the right decision with sex. At least have them wait until they are mature enough.


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25 year old Chinese American with an English Degree.

2 thoughts on “Conservative vs Liberal Sex”

  1. This post spoke to me! I thought I was the only one who thought about sex like that. I more or less went through the same thing you went through but I’m not active yet. I’m still waiting for the “right person.” You just made my day. Thank you!


    1. Oh you’re welcome 🙂 and Don’t worry. You’re not the only one. Never feel bad about your views. As long you don’t regret it, you’ll be good.


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