Best Friend vs Significant Other

We all heard the phrase, “Bros before hoes” before. I’ve always had that mentality in every relationship I had. Most of the guys I dated aren’t approval and I believe that. A boyfriend is less important to me. But since I began my first serious relationship, my mentality of “Bros before hoes” started changing.

My current boyfriend and I talked about my best friend, Gloria. She and I grew up with each other since 9th grade. We’ve been inseparable ever since. She has her own flaws, but she was the reason why I am the strong person I am. She taught me a value lesson of true friendship. Relationship values are from my guy friends. The first time that both were in the same room was a few weeks back when her and I were invited to hang out with a mutual friend of ours. I told my boyfriend about the hangout and he had an interest of wanting to come along.

I decide, at last minute, to invite the boyfriend over to get to know my friends. We didn’t make my friends feel any discomfort or anything. It was rather of a smooth yet awkward hangout. But nonetheless, it was a successful meet-up. Gloria is what I describe as a loud and mean person. Most of the time, she says things that aren’t really hurtful but it sounds mean. In easy English, she has a hard time expressing herself. Today, my boyfriend brought up the fact she was a bit ignorant. This had to do with their Spanish speaking. Both grew up, speaking Spanish, however, my boyfriend is 100% Hispanic. He is a native speaker. Gloria, on the other hand, picked up Spanish from the community she was in. But she lost her “Spanish” part throughout the years. By the way, she’s Asian.

For me, I am familiar with the language since I took the class for 4 years. I don’t speak it, but I can read it. Anyway, my boyfriend quoted “Como Estas?”. I know it means “How are you?”. Because it’s obvious to people who has taken Spanish or Native Speakers. However, for Gloria, she kinda mistook “Como Estas” as incorrect and yelled at my boyfriend that he is wrong. She then claimed her Spanish is better than his. That was an awkward turn for us. Because I studied Spanish for 4 years. Plus my boyfriend is hispanic. He grew up, speaking Spanish all of his life. He even lived in Mexico for a year.  I’m sure “Como Estas” means “How are you?”, not thank you. The correct phase for thank you is “Gracias”.

I was going to correct her and so did my boyfriend. But I cut out short. I know Gloria pretty well for ten years. She has her flaw moments. I wouldn’t say she’s perfect, but I can see sometimes she can be a smart ass. I’m glad my boyfriend didn’t hold anything against her because it’s not worth it. But it was that moment when I realize sometimes your closest friends aren’t always right.

As far as choosing sides, I now realize the phase “Bros before hoes” is quite exaggerating. In case if my boyfriend is not in the wrong, I will defend him no matter what. It doesn’t really matter how much history I have with my friends. Sometimes your friends can be in the wrong, too.




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25 year old Chinese American with an English Degree.

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