This is going to be sorta of a rant. I grew up as an angry child. I have friends that are angry and depressed. Those friends became my 2nd family. The only blood relatives that are close to me are my 1st cousins on paternal’s side. My life is up and down, but I manage. I found the love of my life whom I hope to spend the rest of my life with. He’s bit more emotional and still has a long way to go. Overall, I held these people together like glue. I’ve listened to so many “I hate my family“, “My life is crap“, and “I’m all alone in this world”.
Yet I still am loyal to these people. Why you ask? Because I want to help. I could’ve easily been a jerk and tell them to fuck off. But nope. I hear them out like a therapist. Anytime they feel they need to get things out, I’m their person. What’s craziest is I’m all they got. If I leave, who knows what might happen to them. I love my friends and boyfriend equally. I’d do anything to keep them happy. I have my own problems, but I usually just suck it in and forget it as best as I can. You can say I’m a pretty good friend/girlfriend.
Why am I ranting? Well, sometimes I just want to take off. This sounds really bad. But I feel like taking off. I want to be somewhere quiet where I don’t have to hear people’s daily problems about their dysfunctional family or self hating. It’s easy to tell them that everything will be alright. But it’s hard to tell them to shut up. I’m tired yet I still want to help them. I wish for a different life where I want to see my friends not depressed. I want my boyfriend to make something use for himself. I want everyone to feel good and not worry so much. Just do the best you can and hopefully things will be the way you dreamed of.