Serious Blogging

This girl is seriously my soul. LOL. I’m not in a LDR. There’s some serious life talks in this video. It really has spoken to me because I went through the same at her age. I’m sorry that I haven’t been blogging.I’ve been really busy with school. The semester is almost to a close and I’m leaving my community college in a few months. I will transition to the next step of my life. Anyway, the subject that really puts out is when a girl (a stranger) told her “You are a failure!”. Like serious? Thankfully, she didn’t take it to heart. But I believe it’s harsh.

People shouldn’t tell others how to dictate each other’s lives. I’ve learn in college that life isn’t written the same as everyone else. When I was 21-23, I felt lost. I didn’t know what to do with my life. I thought I was a failure. My mother and paternal grandmother constantly put me on a stick, complaining that I’m a failure. The questions of “Why aren’t you doing this?” echos many times in my brain. It sounds 50% less harsh coming from your own blood. But still harsh. I’ve seen 1/3 of my former high school classmates graduating from college, got a job, and build a family. All by age 22. I got to thinking they got their life together. But to be honest, maybe they’re lying. Not everyone knows what they want in life. It’s okay. Life isn’t a race. When the time comes, it will be very rewarding. I can guarantee. I mean I did it. It took a while, but I got it. I’m very proud of who I am as an individual. Don’t mind what others say about you. As long as you’re getting that degree or job or family you want, pat your yourself on the back and enjoy a glass of wine.

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My Trip to Northridge

Oh, before I forget. I should tell you about my trip to Northridge. Yesterday, my family and I travelled to Northridge to check out my future school. Let me tell you. The campus is very beautiful. The environment is so open and welcoming. It is amazing to step onto a University after 10 years. The last campus I stepped on was UCLA. It was a 6th grade trip. Other than that, I never stepped onto other University campus. I didn’t ask much information about my major other than visiting the College of Humanities booth. The person gave me a flyer and information on what to do with my major. My parents and I walked around on our own. There were expos and tours. However, it was pretty impacted. My parents weren’t in favor of walking around the school for certain amount of time. Plus it was hot that day.

I did took a picture of their famous Oviatt Library. It is amazingly beautiful! Very breath taking.

I wish I walked inside and check it out. But I doubt they let anyone inside the building. The event was filled with many people. My mind was blown. I’m very happy I got accepted to this school. I hope when I attend in the fall, I will enjoy the atmosphere and take in the experience in a new city. As for now, I have to wait.

 

Sex Again?

I know I spoken my views on sex. Don’t worry. I promise this is the last one. I got this inspiration from Gossip Guru. One comment about a YouTuber’s Loosing Your Virginity video really sparked up the conversation. To be honest, the topic is so overrated and misconception. It is the most hardest thing to ever talk about. Because I realize a lot of judgements go on in people’s sex life. The ones that has experience get called whores and sluts. The ones that has no to little experience get called boring. Growing up, people around me whould shame one and another for having sex. Once someone does it, they’re automatically a slut. If you’re virgin, then you’re safe. However, when I got to college, there are many judgements of my old status. I come across a lot of guys (mainly) because it has to do with dating. I get asked about my sex life. I’m always honest about it. They find it odd for someone in a college age to still be abstinence. They would either try to change my mind or give the general, “No guy wants a virgin” talk.

It is so annoying to hear “No guy wants a virgin”. Is there something wrong with being a virgin? I’m not judging your sex life. Why should you judge mine? To be fair, we always get taught that abstinence is the way to go. Depending on the school you attended, I’m sure high school health teachers would strictly force the abstinence lifestyle on young teenagers. In many cases, we get judged either way. There’s never a mature un-biased opinion of sex. In my personal opinion, sex is a serious act between two lovers. People don’t have to agree with me. But don’t try to change my mind. I’m not doing it to you. You shouldn’t do it to me.

There are people who loves casual sex. That’s totally fine. As long the person knows what they’re doing and be safe, then it’s all good. We really need to educate young children about sex the correct way. No one should be afraid or intimated of asking such topic. I’m not saying “Go have sex”. I just want young children to understand the concept of sex. Whatever choice they decide, they must know what they are doing. If they don’t know what they’re doing, then huge consequences would be lining up behind their backs. Also, we should inform the children to never judge someone’s sex life. I cannot stress on how easy it is to judge people. Judgements should never be made because of someone’s sex life. No one likes to be called boring or slutty. All I’m saying is have respects for everyone. You don’t have to agree with their decision. Just let them be.

 

 

 

Girl vs Girl

I never had experienced  girl vs girl hatred. I did had a few girls in my life that are dramatic. But in the end, I avoid them. Because I’m not all about that drama. I do have a few close girlfriends that are awesome and easy to get along. However, majority of my friends are guys. I just get along with guys more often. So as I’m transiting in my life, I begin to wonder if girls still judge each other. I believe they do. It’s mostly now behind closed doors and computer screen. Anyone can access the internet easily and post something about a certain girl. Although I don’t run into it often, I do see it a lot on social media or private forums.

The one forum I recently come across is called Gossip Guru. Gossip Guru is a forum place where anonymous users can post comments about a YouTuber. Usually, it’ll become a thread, depending how much gossip they’re willing to carry. The longer it is, the more bad comments are on the thread. That’s usually the case. I’ve never come across any positive comments about a YouTuber. These girls would stalk on every social media and do FBI research on a YouTuber’s life. Most of them are also females. It makes sense why it’s so easy to criticize a YouTuber. I’ve seen many fashion or beauty gurus thread range from 14 to 40 pages of comments. One might get multiple threads about them. As I read them, the comments are super vicious. It almost sound like an Asian parent judgment. Bad or good, it’s a judgement zone.

These female YouTubers make bank in their community. I don’t understand how they receive millions of dollars and can afford a mansion at my age. I’m 25 years old and I don’t have the money to move out. It’s very questionable. At the same time, their lifestyle and relationships aren’t my business. I may not like their content, however, I wouldn’t go on a public forum to bash on their life. I’ve seen comments from disliking the girl to rating her lifestyle. It is insane. They all claim that it’s constructive criticism and great for the YouTuber (if they ever read the threads). I personally believe a constructive criticism should only be taken from close loved ones or someone understanding that certain area. You know what I mean? If a total stranger were to bash on me randomly and suggest I take their advice because it’s for my good, it’s not something I would take. Because we don’t know each other that well.

Sure, it’s probably what would someone close to me say. At the end, we don’t know each other. I feel these type of girls have a problem with understanding the difference between criticism and celebrities’ life. When you’re creating a constructive criticism, it’s usually based on how they can create their content better. Not bashing on how shitty the girl’s dress looks. I think guys are the same. But they’re not like girls bashing on others. Anyway, girl world never changed. It’s really difficult to give criticism without making a bad judgement. I think it’ll be easier if people think about the humanity inside of everyone. Instead of making immediate judgement.

Eating Tides and Snorting Condoms?

I never tried talking about what teenagers are doing these days. But the most recent new challenges that people are doing is ridiculous. Since when are we becoming little babies? First, people ate tide pods. Now, I’m hearing people snorting condoms. Like ugh. It’s disgusting. When I saw that video, I was majorly disgusted. How badly these teenagers have to play dumb to get internet famous? And guess what the older generations are blaming on?

Yeah, that’s right. Like hold up. First of all, these kids aren’t millennials. I never thought I’m a millennial until I looked it up. Apparently, anyone born between 1981 and 1996 is considered a millennial. So the youngest is 22 and oldest is 37. What the damn hell! I’m sure my generation wouldn’t be stupid in eating tides and snorting condoms. Now, I get each generation will pick on the next generation as usual. But I have to pick on these young  dweebs. Because they’re fucking stupid. They’re risking danger to their health and mind. Not to mention, the older generation are quick to use the word, “Millennial”, as a way to describe the new generation.

These people think millennials are truly stupid. Like fuck no. You babies need to stop making us look so bad. We already had the world calling us sensitive and lazy. We don’t need them to look at us as if we’re little toddlers. Just stop because you become cancer. I’m serious. The things you are posting and doing is making the world turn their heads. Our grandparents and parents generation are treating us like toddlers. After the whole eating tide pod incident, the Tide company has to put on a child proof lock on every package. Do you really want the world to be treating us like babies? I think you want them to. Because your fucking ass be snorting condoms and now the world is trying to tell us “Do not snort condoms”. Bitch, I know that! Tell it to these dumbass dweebs.

God damn it. You younger generations are making us, Millennials, have a harder time to evolve. Because of your stupidity, we’re moving one step back. Like stop. Enough. Haven’t you learn from the tide pod incident? I get teens make mistake. But when I was a teenager, I never snort condoms or ate a tide pod. Just stop please. This is coming from a real millennial child. Continue to sit with your iPads and iPhones like the rest of us. No more snorting or eating whatever the fuck you can find. I don’t want anyone be cooking up some dog poop and eating it.

April! Spring Break!

April is here! Sorry, I haven’t been blogging. I just had no other topics that would make me want to splatter shit. Anyway, things are good. There isn’t any dramatic stuff happening. I just started my Spring Break. Finally! School is intense. Being an English major isn’t as easy as you think. There’s a lot of reading, writing, and critical thinking. You have to like all that stuff in order to succeed. Anyway, school’s out of the picture for now. I think I’m going to try to enjoy my break as best as I can. Just not too much to the point where I literally forget everything. I think next Saturday I’ll be touring my future University school. Yay! It’s quite exciting. I’m definitely going to try to explore as much as I can and talk about it. I’ll keep it in mind. Hopefully I won’t forget. Other than that, Happy April!

The Virgin Who’s Getting There

I only slept with one person my entire life. When it comes to this department, my boyfriend believes we were not sexually compatible due to the different levels of sexual drive. I personally haven’t “practice” much nor have done “research” to put in the work. It even sucks when your boyfriend compares with you with an old girlfriend who got it right away. I don’t hate sex. I just have a harder time, expressing myself. I don’t believe it’s my fault that I have such lack. Growing up, my mother never allowed sexuality inside the house. When I became the age of curiosity, she became a raging dragon. She pretty much prevented me from learning about the topic. Anytime I would secretly try to look up porn, my mother would somehow find a way and destroy me into bits. I can still remember all those rages and disgusting yells as a little girl.

From then, sex never came across my mind. I was burned. I thought I wouldn’t have a problem with sex since no one nagged me about it. Then I met my first ex. When he found out about my status, he immediately took an interest. It’s sorta like a lion hunting a deer. Except the deer was too smart and outsmart the lion. But that didn’t stop the multiple lions lining up for their next meal. I’ve had desperate online perverts asking me “when will we do it?” I always define the timing as never. They either get pissed at me or try to curse me with a bad boyfriend who will leave once they know of my status.

Well, I came across this boyfriend. I let him see me naked for the first time after 6 weeks of dating. We’ve been having sex like rabbits for the past year.

I’m not saying I’m the best of all the girls he had sex with. I still have some flaws here and there. My insecurities is at a 50% level. Clearly, I do love and trust my boyfriend. I just have trouble expressing. I know it’s been a year. It’s enough time to practice and make some improvements. This stuff doesn’t happen overnight. I’m surprised he didn’t dare to cheat or leave after this whole year hassle. If it were for someone else, that person would jump the gun immediately. Then I’d be shamed with “Why didn’t you put in the work?”, “You deserve to get cheated on”, etc. I think my insecurities are talking. I still feel like virgin who’s just getting there.